A few days ago I had a conversation with a very dear friend. She had recently visited a wolf sanctuary that was a short drive from where she lives in Arizona. It was an interesting call as her own playful wolf spirit was shining through during our exchange, while my energy was a bit chaotic. I would say more like a young alpha male wolf that could not yet understand how to balance his power. It has been several months now since I began a new life adventure that has taken me right back into the collective world and society. Everyday seems to bring new revelations of where I am still holding old programs and templates from my human life or our collective human life that need to be transcended. Opportunities for humility and growth that I must remember I voluntarily and consciously chose to experience. I wrote an article a few months ago about transcendence. Actually, if I remember correctly, I wrote the article on the Epiphany. I had not thought about it before now but it makes perfect sense while this article is flowing from my consciousness now as we enter the resurrection gateway of Easter. Everything flows through space in alignment with the cosmic blueprint within the universal time matrix. Why would this article be any different.
Anyway, the article on transcendence was a beautiful work of art. It discussed the spiritual difference between letting go of something versus transcending something. Here is an excerpt that I feel fits well into this narrative. (The full article can be viewed here.)
Letting go is a popular term in the new age spiritual community. Letting go of what not longer serves us, letting go of toxic people or situations, letting go of things we no longer vibe with, etc. Before letting go, we could ask our selves, if we simply let go of something, have we brought it into oneness with our being or have we cast it aside as something separate that disturbed our state of being? Have we really overcome something in our reality or have we chucked it aside, out of sight out of mind? Casting it into the abyss instead of bringing it into the light. Or instead of letting it go, can we allow it to gracefully fall away or remain in our reality in a changed state through the act of transcendence.
That article addressed specifically letting go of Christianity and having to learn how to transcend my programming of it into a higher perspective. This article picks up the thread of transcendence and continues to weave it into the tapestry that I call my life. Years ago when I started my spiritual journey, it was imperative for me to let go of many things. People, places, food, drink, music, etc. In fact, my journey required me to completely let go of my human life. I spent years with that part of myself barely present while the Sophia force of Creation radiated from my inner being. I had made a choice to fully evolve that part of myself and I went “all in” in the deep pool of the cosmos. Welcoming the void, the silence, the stillness, the fasting, the mysteries of Creation revealing themselves to me.
Earlier on in this process, before I went all in, I used to listen to a song called Great Spirit by Nahko and Medicine for the People. The opening lines of this song say
So which wolf will you feed
One makes you strong, one makes you weak
For those who know and those who seek
Amongst the chaos find your peace
I know which wolf I'll feed
During the time in my life when I was letting go of all things that did not serve me, this song was an anthem to let go of the things listed above that brought chaos to my being. For example, caffeine, specifically coffee. At the time, I had a lot of trauma in my body and my mind was full of programming that brought out the worst human traits within me such as anger, jealousy, or a propensity to make self destructive choices. The wolf medicine I needed at the time showed me that inside me there was a bad wolf and a good wolf. If I wanted to be a good wolf then I needed to starve the bad wolf. In other words, I needed to let go of all the things that brought the bad wolf out of me. With the eyes of wisdom and time, I can now look back and see how it was impossible for me to transcend many things that I needed to transcend if I did not let go of most of what made me human. I had to view myself from the duality of good wolf bad wolf. My human programming was damaged, self destructive, and posed a danger to my well being and those around me. This was way back before I ever posted anything about my journey, created any websites, or wrote any books. It is what I call pre Gaia Sophia, which for me is pre-soul consciousness. The time before my heart cracked wide open and I began to teach myself to love and to become love.
Along with this came the ascension journey that allowed me to reprogram my mind and rebuild my physical vessel in alignment with the cosmic blueprint of Diamond Sun Architecture. It was a phenomenal experience and I radiated, in all white, the pure bliss that I felt within my own heart. Those were magical days and one might ask why the hell I decided to leave them for another round in the “matrix”. Our Divine Human self is a trinitized expression of Pure Creation that radiates and creates the reality around us. We are powerful beings. Especially when we can radiate our full power as a Sovereign being within Creation. A spiritual journey is only one half of the Divine Human self, the Divine part. As human’s we tend to believe that if we evolve the Divine part (the good wolf) of our being then we have made it. So if we get to the top of the spiritual mountain or even somewhere near there, we tend to stay there in the bliss isolated from the world. Think of monasteries, communes, or hermits. The human and the spiritual rarely coexist in our world. Which has been according to Divine plan – until now!
The separation is a matter of energy and balance. The energy of the world is pretty dense, harsh, and chaotic. Always moving without any regard to slowing down and resting. In fairness to those on the spiritual path who have found bliss, it is sort of painful to move about in the ordinary world. (Until, like our spiritual mastery, we learn to master the fullness of life) Like going from a still pond into a raging ocean. So most people choose a relatively separate life where they can live and be alone or with others who have chosen a similar path. There is no judgement in that as we each have our own unique life experience. However, we must be clear that it is separation. Choosing to only acknowledge our Divinity and cast aside the “chaotic” world is an act of separation that is counter intuitive to the idea of Oneness within the experience of being Divinity embodied in a human body. If I am a soul and not a human then how can I exist within a human reality? We cast away one for another instead of being all. Why we may not be attached to an identity, which is healthy and unifying, ignoring part of ourself means that we can not play that part within the great show of Creation.
We are here evolving our consciousness on this planet in a Divine Human experience of ascension then life on heaven, this garden of Eden we call Earth. The ascension vehicle that we have chosen is a human body and the reality that we have chosen to ascend within is a human reality. For many years on our planet the religious or spiritual community has remained sort of separate from the secular world. Always present in some form to maintain balance even when it appears that the two are separate. It is the same for those of us that are on or that took a spiritual journey. We may have let go of our human self or human life to embrace a higher version of ourself, our Divine self. But the human self is not going anywhere. Yes it must “die” but it is only our perception of it that dies. I mean who wants to be a human when you can be Divine? For some it is the opposite, who wants to be Divine when you are human. Show me how I can live forever!! (spoiler it is not being just human) And still we fail to see that the two are One and the heaven and hell are right here in this reality in these bodies. This is it. There is not birth or death, there is only transformation. This is the Divine Human experience!
So one day I woke up again and realized that if I only fed the good wolf then I was bound in golden chains just as I had been bound in iron chains when I was my human self or bad wolf. There is no way I could be completely sovereign unless I could open my heart and my arms wide open and take the entire world as it is into my bosom and live with all of it. Slowly I began to acclimate myself again to the energy of the world. Car horns, loud music, someone swearing on the street, action films, music with words in it, coffee, and so on. Which leads us back to now, a coupe of years down the river of time, and I have been “back in the world” living a human life again. My mind is a safe place these days and so my human self is quite different than all those years ago but the world did not change along with me. What has changed is that I have added back various things in my life and I have a “schedule” now that I can choose to follow, so there is more human structure. Which is really admirable because some of the methods that we have developed to add structure to our reality significantly aids us collectively in being able to achieve evolution and function as a society.
It is only that we have become a slave to these structures and this brings me back to the point of this article. When we renounce the world, we renounce its social schedules, dietary choices, rules, and regulations. However, if we are to play our part as a human we must learn how to function within these structures not as a slave to them but as the Creator that is able to bend the structure at will. The structure is the bad wolf. And the structure is our humanity! What? Let me explain. First, there is no good wolf or bad wolf. That was a perception that I needed when I let go of “old” structures. Second, the structure is our humanity. Why? Because our minds are our human self and our minds create the structure of our reality, within them lies core programming that we are hard wired with from birth until around the age 12. Upon this core layer is a neural network of programs that are created from the mainframe or main coding system of the brain and shaped by our experiences in life. Together these systems creates a matrix or neural network that allows us to create and perceive the world.
It has taken us billions of years to create our human world today on this planet via our collective mind and experiences. From these we have created social programs that allow us to function as humans within this world. It is this structure that is our human self and that we use as a template for babies when they are born to identify and have a human experience. From an energy perspective, these structures or neural networks are what we call the Christos, Divine masculine, yang, or Christ. It is the electric force of Creation that flows through our minds to create neural networks and broadcast our realities into form. This is our human self, “the son of God became man”. Reality in the form state is our human self projected within space and time. Is this really a bad wolf? On the other side, we have the formless, the heart, the magnetic Sophia force of this universe that births it all. From our Divine self Sophia, the Christ or the human self is born.
I said before that there is no good wolf and no bad wolf. So why did I ever think I had a bad wolf in me? Because my human self created an energy matrix that was based on core programming loaded with traumas. But the other day when the wolf medicine showed up in my reality, that song from years ago began to play in my head. I had been struggling with balancing my energy. I am no longer a Divine Being and I am no longer a human being. I am a Divine Human being. And I am a Divine Human being learning how to navigate this life without sacrificing a part of myself or succumbing to the old human structures of this world. But I still want to enjoy my life. I want to enjoy my Divinity and my humanity. Slowly I am learning how to do this and it is an amazing journey in itself.
Wolf Medicine
What did the wolf medicine reveal to me at this time in my life?
First, it showed me again that there are two wolves inside of me. It showed me that I must also feed both wolves. Neither is good or bad. I need both to survive as a Divine Human. I need to feed my Divine omega wolf because she keeps me connected to my heart and is the pure spirit that fuels me. I need to feed my human alpha wolf because he keeps my mind strong and physically manifests my reality. Without my Divine wolf I do not have the energy to create life. Without my human wolf I do not have the energy to manifest life and without the two working as ONE I cannot enjoy life. The two work together to Create as a ONE Sovereign Divine Human Being. From where I experience reality now as a sovereign being, if I starve one, I starve both. If I overfeed one, they both suffer. They work together in a dance of balance and harmony. The yin and yang, the Christos and Sophia, the Shiva and Shakti, the light and the dark. I must never forget this and I must always strive to feed them equally so that I stay in balance and harmony with the entire universe.
Many years ago I needed to starve the human wolf so that my Divine wolf could hold me within her womb and rebirth me free of the traumas that created a “bad wolf” perspective. My human self is growing up and evolving and I must remember to feed that part of myself too. I enjoy coffee, I enjoy wine, I enjoy attending a lecture, and many other things that affect my energy. I also enjoy laying under the trees in the middle of a forest, meditating, getting a massage, and other thigs that fill me up. I have thought so much about quitting coffee because of its effects. Yet, through this round of wolf medicine that internal debate can finally be put to rest. Set healthy boundaries with everything, things that nourish us can lead to stagnation in excess, things that drain us can lead to depletion in excess. Feed both wolves equally even if sometimes it is more to one and less to the other, as long as during one full cycle it is even. Just like the seasons and all of the cosmos moving in an eternal dance of energy that creates harmony.
Secondly, this sacred medicine helped me to remember that I am mostly a lone wolf and that that’s ok. When I lived only in my Divinity it was never an issue. Being alone was enough and socially acceptable for a spiritual life. Part of returning to the world means being an active part in it socially. I believe we have social expectations built in that say you are supposed to make friends, have friends, and do things with said friends. But I do not believe that is necessarily true in the way in which most believe. I have been exploring friendship more these past couple of years and I have to say that to me less is more. My friendships are relationships that I cherish and they run deep. Surface level conversation is not really enjoyable to me long-term which is why I enjoy brief social encounters with the pack then exiting to the stillness and solitude that allows me to simply be. Since embarking on my university experience I have tried various methods of social life. It is healthy for our human self to have connection and physical touch and contact with other humans. Honestly, most have left me feeling more lonely than before the interaction because I believe I was simply trying to fulfill a social role that I never really fit into my entire life unless I was high. That was because at my core I am a lone wolf. The wolf medicine reminded me that the lone wolf is a welcomed part of nature too. Visiting the pack when needed but having the wisdom and confidence to walk alone in this world.
Finally, I received a dose of wolf medicine that opened my eyes and reminded me of how powerful I am. The wolf in the picture for this article is in a rescue facility and in the picture she is in a fenced in area, you could say a cage. But if you look into her eyes you can clearly see that she is free. There is peace radiating from her. She could tear that fencing apart and gnash her teeth at any who enters it. In essence, she could fight the cage; but she acts as if the cage is non existent. For weeks I have felt trapped within a cage of academia, a slave to its schedules and structures. Trying to make it to a scheduled break before choosing to honor myself and taking one. I forgot! And I was looking outside of myself and wondering how I could change the system or work around it. Then I remembered that the cage only exists if I give it the power to exist. Just like in the matrix when the orphan child is bending spoons. He says ” Do not try to bend the spoon. That is impossible. Only… try to remember the truth…there is no spoon..” There is no caging system unless I say there is. It only has power over me when I bend to it from a place of fear. When I stay in my power and honor my heart, those structures bend to my will. They support me and the reality that I wish to experience as a Creator incarnate. I may appear to be operating within a system of old structures and power dynamics but just like that wolf, I am free of those cages because I know the truth of my own power.
I have been enriched and filled up from the wolf medicine, the mountain air, and trees. Most importantly from the love and wisdom of my own heart. I have transcended the idea that there is a bad wolf or a part of myself that may come out if I feed it. My eyes have opened to see that feeding all of myself what it needs in balance and moderation powers my sovereign reality. I am in gratitude and honor for the power of the sacred wolf medicine. Each of my wolves received a healthy dose so that they can come together as ONE, Creation incarnated as a Divine Human to experience this magnificent planet we call home.
May this powerful wisdom find its way into your consciousness and reveal itself in whatever way best serves you. I love you all so very much!
Sophia
Cover photo compliments of Janet Eichorst @ www.janeteichorst.com
Great Spirit, Nahko and Medicine for the People: https://open.spotify.com/track/2nXz3RwiZpvvB0Rr5nuKjk?si=d46a23fa115844c6